Ah, Valentine’s season—the annual parade of love, where florists cash in, restaurants turn into proposal arenas, and people suddenly remember that love languages exist. It’s like watching a live rom-com, complete with extravagant dates, last-minute panic buys (because someone forgot again), and public declarations that make you wonder, “Is this love or a PR stunt?” And honestly? I am here for it. Not for the picture-perfect couple posts flooding my feed, but because it’s an absolute sociological masterpiece.

First, you’ve got the strategists—those who secured their Valentine’s reservations in November, ensuring premium seats and an uninterrupted soft life experience. Then, there’s the scramblers—racing to the nearest florist at 5 PM, bargaining with fate (and the vendor) for roses that won’t cost them their dignity. Let’s not forget the Galentine’s squad, proving that love doesn’t need Cupid—just an unhinged group chat, a bottle of wine, and a night filled with hot gossip, hilarious rants, or a vibey sip-and-paint session. 

And then, my personal favorite—the single legends (shoutout to us). Some are basking in their freedom, ordering extra fries with zero guilt. Others? They’re deep in a rom-com marathon, side-eyeing the screen like, “Nobody falls in love at a coffee shop just like that.” (Seriously tho, where are these magical cafés? Asking for a friend… or two) But hey, that’s not the headline here…

The other day, I hopped onto a Valentine’s Week webinar, organized by the Student Council, featuring two Strathmore alumni, Thomas and Heday Mundia, who met on campus and—plot twist—ended up together. Yep, from lecture halls to lifelong love. Because the thing about love? It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Their story wasn’t one of those instant, love-at-first-sight moments. No sparks flying across a crowded room. No dramatic slow-motion encounters. Instead, it was built on friendship, faith, and shared experiences. Hedaya studied at Strathmore from 1993 to 1998, back when the university had a strict no-mixing policy between male and female students (yes, really!). Thomas joined in 1997 at the School of Accountancy, went on to pursue his master’s, and later became faculty. By 2015, he was part of the Strathmore Business School (SBS) team.

But even in those years, you know how it goes—you see them on campus. Maybe it starts with a glance across the courtyard. Maybe you keep running into them at the library (totally by chance, of course). Maybe it’s just the way their name keeps popping up in conversations. Was that how it started for them? I like to imagine so. Their story truly took shape beyond campus, in the workplace, where a priest encouraged staff to bond and build genuine friendships. Their circle of friends went dancing, watched movies, hiked, and just did life together. And somewhere between all that, Thomas and Hedaya found themselves drawn to each other. And the rest? Well, that’s history. 22 years, married with kids, and a life built on a foundation stronger than just romance.

As I listened to their story, one question kept nagging at me: What makes love last? How do you go from a fleeting campus crush to 22 years of marriage? Where does it all begin? Is it about finding “the one”? Or becoming the kind of person who’s ready for a deep, lasting connection?

Hedaya shared some gems during the discussion, and judging by the flood of comments in the chat, I wasn’t the only one taking notes.

“Be engaged in activities,” she said. “Follow them where they go. See how they relate with people. Go out, have fun, and get to know their flow—what they love, how they handle life beyond academics.” It’s not just about butterflies and sweet nothings. What’s their relationship with God? Do your values align? Do they genuinely care about your well-being? Because, let’s be real—if they constantly stress you out, make you doubt yourself, and shrink your confidence, maybe it’s time to log out. No love should feel like a weight pulling you down. In today’s world, with social media setting impossible relationship goals and grand gestures taking center stage, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. But love isn’t about curated Instagram posts or expensive gifts. It’s in the little things—the kindness, the consistency, the respect, and the everyday moments that build something worth holding onto.

Before Love Finds You… Are You Ready?

And even before the discussion went deeper into relationships, they detoured a bit to talk about something even more important—self-awareness and personal growth before stepping into one. Because as cute as relationships are, are you ready for one? Before you jump in with that beautiful soul—whether it’s a young handyman or a wise old gentleman (your pick)—ask yourself:

• Are you emotionally mature enough to handle love when it’s sweet and when it’s challenging?
• Can you meet the emotional, mental, and even time demands of a relationship without losing yourself?
• Can you balance love, career, friendships, and personal growth without feeling overwhelmed?
• Do you take responsibility for your actions, emotions, and how they affect others?
• Are you ready for the highs of being deeply cherished and the lows of working through inevitable conflicts?

Heavy questions, right? But they matter. Because the truth is, love isn’t just about stumbling upon the right person—it’s also about becoming the right person. Relationships are mirrors, reflecting the parts of ourselves we sometimes ignore. And the best love stories? They begin with self-awareness. And as cliché as it sounds, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You will find your person. But that doesn’t mean you should be out here casting a net for every Tom, Dick, and Harry just to figure out who your one true king or queen is.

Instead, invest in yourself. Take that class you’ve been putting off. Grow your career. Travel. Go on friendship dates. Find a mentor. Do things that align with the future you want, so when love finds you, you’re ready to nurture it, not just chase its thrill. And maybe—just maybe—one day, like Hedaya and Thomas, you’ll have a love story worth telling. A story built not just on chemistry, but on two whole, self-aware individuals choosing to grow together. 

The Secret Sauce: Friendship First

Beautifully narrated by the Mundias, “A good marriage is built on a strong friendship.” For them, that solid foundation made all the difference. Without it, they wouldn’t have made it this far. Their emphasis has always been on getting the foundation right—a firm, unshakable one.

And what a journey it has been for them! From the carefree days of campus, where love was lighthearted and full of dreams…To the dating years, learning each other’s quirks, navigating uncertainties, and deepening their bond…To the thrill of engagement, planning a future together, building a home not just in bricks but in understanding…To marriage, where love took on new layers—commitment, responsibility, and the beauty of choosing each other daily…To raising children, where love expanded, priorities shifted, and they learned to be partners in parenting… To working together, growing side by side, and eventually mentoring others in the ways of love and life.

Through all these seasons, one thing has remained constant—they still prioritize their friendship. “And yes, date nights are still a must!”  No matter how busy life gets, they always find time to reconnect, laugh, and remind each other why they started this journey in the first place. “There’s no perfect balance—it’s an integration. Life comes in seasons.” And through each season, they’ve embraced the changes.

So, if you’re out here searching for love, maybe the real question isn’t who you’re looking for—but who you’re becoming in the process. Because love isn’t just about finding the right person; it’s about being the right person too.

And to the single souls reading this—love isn’t just about romance. I hope this Valentine’s season didn’t make you feel lonely, but instead reminded you to celebrate yourself. Whether it’s taking yourself out for a meal, buying that thing you’ve been eyeing, or simply taking a deep breath and appreciating where you are—you are worth celebrating. Because love isn’t just found in relationships. It’s found in friendships, in self-care, in kindness, in the small joys of everyday life.

Article written by Jemmy M. Kamau