The journey to Kilifi began long before anyone set foot on the train. In early March, an invitation went out to Strathmore University’s female mentors, and within just three days, the seminar was fully booked, a clear sign of how much this space was needed. Soon after, SGR tickets were secured and plans quietly took shape for a few days away at the coast.

What followed was a burst of energy on the WhatsApp group. Conversations about what to pack, what to wear, and how best to savour the time together began to unfold. A simple idea to introduce a colour theme for each day, white, then blue, then gold, quickly caught on, adding a playful rhythm to the seminar and giving everyone something small but meaningful to look forward to each morning.

By the time the group arrived at Jahazi Conference Centre, the tone had already been set. The setting itself was a great advantage: open skies, the sound of the ocean, and a pace that allowed people to breathe. Days were thoughtfully structured with sessions that demanded attention and reflection, balanced by moments of rest and laughter. Evenings, in particular, became a highlight: lively, easy, and full of connection, as mentors unwound and got to know each other beyond their professional roles.

The ocean quickly became part of the story. Swimming in the waves offered a kind of release that no formal session could replicate. On the third day, a group set out for the reef, a walk that tested both patience and determination. Those who made it found it well worth the effort. Standing in the shallow waters, they took in a different world beneath their feet: starfish scattered across the seabed, coral formations, flashes of fish, and even the surprising appearance of eels, which at first caused a bit of alarm. The experience was equal parts adventure and reflection, capped off by a view that stayed with many long after they left.

At the heart of the seminar, however, were the conversations. The sessions were engaging and, at times, intense, guiding the mentors to think more deeply about what they do and why. Discussions moved beyond theory into the realities of mentoring students today. There was a deliberate effort to understand the formation of the human person, not as an abstract idea, but as the foundation of mentorship. Conversations on student dynamics unpacked the complexity of young people’s lives, reminding mentors that context matters just as much as guidance.

Communication came up repeatedly, not just as a skill, but as a responsibility. Mentors reflected on how they listen, how they speak, and how small interactions can shape trust. Etiquette in mentoring was explored in practical terms, touching on boundaries, presence, and the subtle ways mentors set the tone. The idea of the “feminine genius” brought a different dimension to the discussion, encouraging mentors to see empathy, attentiveness, and relational awareness not as soft skills but as strengths that enrich the mentoring process.

There was also an honest look at the university environment itself, how culture influences both mentors and mentees, and how mentors can intentionally contribute to a healthier, more supportive space. Reviewing student survey data grounded the conversations in reality, offering insights into what students are experiencing and where mentors can respond more effectively. Peer discussions created room for sharing ideas, challenges, and small wins, reinforcing that no one is doing this work alone.

One of the most striking moments came from the comparison between “lifeboating” and “lighthouse” mentoring. It shifted the focus in a simple but powerful way: from rescuing students in moments of crisis to being a steady presence that helps them find their own direction. That idea stayed with many participants and shaped the tone of subsequent discussions.

By the end of the seminar, there was a noticeable shift in how mentors spoke about their role. The emphasis moved away from trying to “fix” mentees toward guiding them with patience and clarity. Listening, really listening, stood out as one of the most important tools a mentor can have. There was a renewed appreciation for seeing each mentee as an individual, not a problem to be solved, but a person to be understood. Mentors also reflected on their own identity, how they present themselves, the first impressions they create, and the consistency needed to build meaningful relationships over time.

What lingered most was the sense of community. Beyond the sessions and activities, there was a shared understanding that mentoring is not a solo effort. The time in Kilifi created space not just to learn, but to reconnect with purpose and with each other. In the end, the seminar didn’t offer quick fixes or rigid formulas. Instead, it quietly reaffirmed something deeper: that effective mentorship is about walking with people as they grow, offering guidance with intention, empathy, and an awareness of the unique journey each person is on.

Article written by Celestine Kanjama.